Oh, come down and visit our factory farm!
It’s better by far than the zoo.
We’ve farm animals like you never dreamed,
And modern technology, too!
See thousands of egg hens packed twelve to a cage,
So cozy they can’t spread a wing.
To keep them from pecking each other to death,
We’ve burned off their beaks. (Bet that stings!)
Come laugh at the piggies who can’t even walk.
Their legs can’t support their own weight.
Because of growth hormone, they stagger and slide.
Ain’t the chemistry business great!
Come gawk at the cows as they hang by one limb
On our slaughter assembly line.
If a cut throat don’t kill one, the scalding tank will.
(Come on, they’re just cows, so it’s fine.)
Our house cafeteria serves only meat,
And gelatin (made from the hooves).
So dig in with gusto, and bon apetít;
It’s all USDA approved!
—Lester Smith