Amazon, Apple, Google, Microsoft, and a pair of customers walk into a bar.
Amazon gazes around dreamily and says, “I should open a bar!”
Apple says, “We can all share a table, except Microsoft has to sit at the far end–and there’s no room for Google.”
Microsoft says, “I’ll agree to that. Hey, did you know I used to own this bar?”
Google says, “I’ll go buy the first round. I already know what everyone likes.”
Amazon says, “I’ll get a tray to carry it all.”
Apple takes a seat at the head of a table and says, “Hey, check out my brand-new iPhone!”
Microsoft mumbles, “I have a Windows phone.”
One customer rushes to Apple’s side, marveling at the new gadget. “Hey,” the customer says, “I don’t need an iPod for my music anymore!”
The other customer pulls out his Android phone, lists his old iTouch on eBay, where his iPaq sold years ago, and says, “Not much reason left to hang out with Apple.” He remotely logs onto his Windows desktop computer at the office and begins the surprisingly onerous task of uninstalling iTunes, iCloud, Apple Software Updater, Bonjour, and a couple of other related programs that have been sucking up processor power.