(From a 15 March 2022 Facebook post.)
Not complaining. Just reporting. I’m losing a battle to feel relevant. Who needs another old white guy’s games or opinions?
The thought of being put out to pasture worries me. As a young factory worker, I used to watch guys retire, go home, and die within a year from lack of purpose.
In part, the trouble is the sheer effort of self publishing. In part, it’s a lifelong sense of guilt for falling short of expectations.
Writing requires energy. Energy requires enthusiasm. For an extrovert, enthusiasm requires an audience. I’m running out of ways to keep the inner child excited on my own, out here in the Nebraska boonies, isolated by a migraine/seizure disorder, Covid, Covid deniers, and the world’s slide toward fascism.
There’s a bucket list of dreams right here on my desk, and he’s asking, “What’s the point?”
Again, not complaining; just reporting. In case anyone ever wonders, “Where did that old guy go?”
Well, I don’t deserve any credit for the charity work until I actually do it. For now, I’m too focused on parenting to be doing anything else good for humanity or the world at large. It’s possible I’ll hit burnout and spend my retirement partying or maybe just reading.
Thank you for the kind comment, Mike. Your plans for charity work sound great!
As for me, some things have changed since I originally wrote this post. I’m in a better frame of mind, although I’ve had to make some concessions to reality to get there.
You’ll note this post is part 1. I’ll let parts 2 and 3 explain that change. The first is tomorrow, the second on Friday.
I think the ones that die soon after retirement are the ones that came home and did nothing. My father-in-law retired and then watched television from his cough until he dropped. Now unfortunately your migraines and seizures might force that on you, but as much as practical if you stay active I think it makes a difference. If I can ever retire, I hope to work part time on some charity that is meaningful to me right until the day I drop dead.
As for motivation, I’m not sure what I can suggest. Do you have a good enough internet connection to have a weekly gaming group with friends on Discord or similar? I don’t know how flexible the different internet grouped gaming systems are, like roll20.net, Rolisteam, Beyond Tabletop, or similar, but maybe some of them can be adjusted to support d6xd6 or D13.
Good luck.